Friday, August 30, 2013


Life has a way of throwing annoying metaphors at you when you least want them. My computer's hard drive bit the dust last week, just as summer was ending. Just as I was finalizing what to write next, making copious notes and plans. Just as one dear person in my life was undergoing a serious lifesaving procedure, and another was veering off in a new direction.

I felt endlessly sad and frustrated and, well, pissed off.

And then yesterday, it rained like hell. No, like heaven had opened and emptied itself, either a giant thunder piss to say, You think you know what life's about? Ha!  or to say, Here, let me wash that clean for you. (And by the way, you can't stop the seasons changing.)

You can't stop the seasons changing. You know that, inside, but sometimes you just want to hold on for one moment longer to what you had, whether it's health, love, an idea, or summer. The ocean lolling its waves at you on a hot day, the kind of conversation that feels life saving. But as the Buddha will tell you, everything is impermanent. Not to mention imperfect.

So life, I piss on you. I hate that you've taken my precious things, because to me, possession should be 9/10ths of the karmic law.

And, goddamnit, I love you. Because you wash me clean every now and again, open up new possibilities, make me work hard for what I want, and occasionally, you deliver something quite sweet and beautiful.


  1. Wondering if its in the stars right now. I'm feeling the same way. Pissed off, incredibly sad, but at the same time trying to focus on now -- enjoying The rain, oh the rain yesterday. Stuck on 405 in Renton when they got .67 inch in :20. It was fun. But then I remembered that I had brand new tires on my car and relished seeing lightening, which we get so rarely here. And so it goes, the ying and yang. Thanks for your beautiful observation.

    1. Thanks, Casz! It does seem to be something in the cosmos right now, lots of others feeling similarly. That helps, too. :-)